We live in an instant world--instant coffee, instant communication, instant food, instant access to information, to anything we want--24/7. Or so it seems, anyway.
But the reality is that relationships are completely different. Healthy relationships aren't nurtured instantly. It takes a lot of time and consistent effort. Marriage, especially, is a relationship that requires a tremendous amount of investment and patience in order to create a harmony that is really special.
Anytime you put two people together and tell them to live in blissful harmony for the rest of their lives, you're asking for the impossible. After all, we're just too determined at various times to pursue getting our own way--often when we don't even realize it. A truly loving marriage runs counterintuitively to that mindset of selfishness. In fact, most of the successfully married people I know believe that one of the reasons God designed marriage in the first place was to teach them patience. I can certainly back up that point of view. Nothing, and I mean nothing, puts you face-to-face with your own selfish nature better than getting married.
Your engagement period is one of those great opportunities given in life to focus on this stark reality--almost like a "test" run. In other words, knowing that we will all have our selfish moments or inclinations, how will you approach this lifelong permanent bond together--in a way that honors your partner instead of you demanding your own way?
It may take years for you to develop the kind of marriage that will be most the satisfying. So give yourselves time for that union to blossom naturally. In the meantime, cut each other tons of slack in how you deal with one another. There's an old saying that says, "you always hurt the one you love." Do your best to challenge that saying. Go out of your way during your premarital period to be extra understanding and especially patient with the stresses of planning your upcoming wedding. By doing this, you will get a great running start to accomplishing the same thing in your marriage.
You're obviously getting married because you have great love and adoration for one another. Develop that love further for your most special relationship by giving your fiance (and future spouse) the gift of patience and understanding. You'll be surprised down the line at what you receive for your effort.
