Making Time

Are you getting enough time together--simply to talk? Do you remember when you dated as a teenager how you would just spend hours on the phone? So, how about now? Are you spending quantity and quality time together in conversation? Failing to get time together to talk is the first thing that will short-circuit good communication in your marriage.

There's no short way around it. You must intentionally set aside time in order to have conversations together that really mean something. Otherwise, you will just be going through the motions with a very surface kind of communication.

Without planning this sort of time into your schedule--actually putting the specified time into your Daytimer, Palm Pilot or Crackberry--it just won't happen. For Kellie and me, it just so happens that conversations best occur when we're either walking together, driving together or sharing a meal together. For any of those things to take place, we've usually got to put it on our calendar...or at least say to each other, "This is what we're doing at 8 p.m. tonight!" Waiting for it to just "happen" usually means it won't.

Prioritizing time to talk together will put you way ahead of the curve when it comes to developing more connection in your relationship. Just remember....someday, you'll both be much older and talking will remain one of the few things you'll be able to do with the same kind of energy. So now's the time to get good at it!