There is nothing more devastating than believing ahead of time that you are on the same page with your beliefs about spirituality--and then finding out you are on completely different planets. It's so important to talk about all of those issues now--and be totally honest with each other. How do you really feel about issues concerning church and God? What will you want in the future for your kids? For instance, do you believe Jesus should be the foundation of your home? If not, then what? I (Brett) will go ahead and tell you that if Kellie and I had not had Christ as the centerpiece of our marriage from the beginning, it's likely that we would not be married today. Our selfishness (particularly in the early years) would have taken over and we would have probably gone the way of so many marriages today--ready to throw in the towel. We didn't know much about marriage to start with. But we did know that we both loved the Lord. He gave us the ability to give grace to each other over and over again. That kept us going during a lot of challenges throughout almost twenty years of marriage (so far).
Discuss together things like church traditions, church attendance, denominational issues (if they apply), Bible study habits, scripture interpretations, and anything else that you think is important in this regard. Don't assume that you are in agreement on these very core opinions unless you have talked about them together. You might discuss those issues further with your parents, pastors, clergy, and friends you respect. Establish together who or what is going to be the hope of your marriage together. It will be a very worthwhile conversation.
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