Author David Gudgel says that there has been a dramatic shift in American culture in the last few decades. Before 1970, most couples married before they lived together. Now, it's the other way around. Today most couples live together before they marry. Beyond that, many couples who live together have no intention at all of ever getting married. In fact, even though 90 percent of teenagers say they believe in marriage, 74 percent say they would live with someone before marriage--or even instead of marriage. The general thinking here is something along these lines, "If things don't work out, we can chalk it up to experience and move on. At least we will have learned something about ourselves and marriage."
Here's another startling figure. For the first time since records have been kept, the United States Census Bureau found that the majority of firstborn children in this country are now born out of wedlock. In the 1930's the figure was only 18 percent. Today there are more than 1.4 million unmarried couples living together with children under the age of 15. This number has been growing steadily since 1980.
So what? Who cares, right? Isn't living together just a practical way to go? Doesn't it make pragmatic sense? After all, there are multiple reasons today why people choose to cohabit outside of a marriage commitment. And by the way, most who cohabit do think they indeed will get married--someday. The problem is that if living together comes first, the basis or foundation of the long-term relationship is built around one of those "practical" reasons for living together. The foundation of the relationship is built on sex, financial considerations, or convenience--rather than on commitment. No matter what is happening in culture around us, living together before you say "I do" does not begin the marriage on a firm foundation of trust. And trust is vital for the long-term health of any relationship.
If you are getting married, I assume that you would want that relationship to be both permanent and based on lifetime commitment--built on a firm foundation of trust. If you are now engaged, but living together and/or having premarital sex, I would invite you both to consider a radical suggestion--to start over fresh and remain apart sexually until marriage. (I know what you're thinking: that's crazy!) At least consider it--even pray about it.
I have had many struggling married couples meet with me who now wish they had initiated their marriage relationship on trust. My desire, more than anything, is for your marriage to last a lifetime. By building your marriage on a foundation of purity and commitment, your odds of a successful marriage increase dramatically. For your consideration...
Here's another startling figure. For the first time since records have been kept, the United States Census Bureau found that the majority of firstborn children in this country are now born out of wedlock. In the 1930's the figure was only 18 percent. Today there are more than 1.4 million unmarried couples living together with children under the age of 15. This number has been growing steadily since 1980.
So what? Who cares, right? Isn't living together just a practical way to go? Doesn't it make pragmatic sense? After all, there are multiple reasons today why people choose to cohabit outside of a marriage commitment. And by the way, most who cohabit do think they indeed will get married--someday. The problem is that if living together comes first, the basis or foundation of the long-term relationship is built around one of those "practical" reasons for living together. The foundation of the relationship is built on sex, financial considerations, or convenience--rather than on commitment. No matter what is happening in culture around us, living together before you say "I do" does not begin the marriage on a firm foundation of trust. And trust is vital for the long-term health of any relationship.
If you are getting married, I assume that you would want that relationship to be both permanent and based on lifetime commitment--built on a firm foundation of trust. If you are now engaged, but living together and/or having premarital sex, I would invite you both to consider a radical suggestion--to start over fresh and remain apart sexually until marriage. (I know what you're thinking: that's crazy!) At least consider it--even pray about it.
I have had many struggling married couples meet with me who now wish they had initiated their marriage relationship on trust. My desire, more than anything, is for your marriage to last a lifetime. By building your marriage on a foundation of purity and commitment, your odds of a successful marriage increase dramatically. For your consideration...
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