One of the most vital areas to discuss during the engagement period is the arena of money. No doubt about it, money issues are at the top of the list of things that cause marital arguments. In fact, many divorce lawyers will tell you that money is the number one cause of the divorce cases they handle. There's just something about money that reveals a lot about who we really are. And most of the time, a couple will have two people with two significantly different viewpoints about money.
One person will typically be a saver. The other will be a spender. That's a big enough difference right there. But there are so many other things to evaluate together. What are your philosophies about debt? Do either of you have a lot of credit card debt? What about student loans? How important is financial security to you? What things would you like to save up for? What kind of house do you want to own? How long are you willing to wait for it? What about giving? Do you want to contribute to various charities? Which ones? What is your opinion about tithing?
Fortunately, there are places to help you get started in these discussions--as well as get a lot of helpful advice. Two sources that have been helpful to us in the past are Dave Ramsey's site (www.daveramsey.com) and Crown Financial Ministries (www.crown.org). There are other good sites. It is very important to have these discussions together about money. Get educated together on the importance of living within your means, saving, tithing, investing, giving. A good rule of thumb from Charlie Shedd for newlyweds is to save 10% of your income, give away 10%.....and then spend the rest on all that "other stuff". With that simple formula to begin your marriage, you'll eventually learn how to settle into the proper money outlook that will be right for your individual family in the long run. Whatever you do, talk about your finances. When you talk money together, you'll find out more about who you're marrying than you ever dreamed possible.
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